Thoughts about truly supporting our girls

Throughout our lives we have all had a plethora of different bras. Some made us look and feel amazing, but only for a moment. There is always that one that we really want to keep, even though we know that it hurts us. We have the extra bra that doesn’t fit right, but we keep it around, just in case our good ones are unavailable. Then we have the most valuable of them all, the old faithful…She has been here for years, always there, so very comfortable, albeit threadbare. You know we all have favorites. And bras have to be properly cared for; if you don’t, you will run out of the good ones and only have the sub-par ones left to give you support. (You see what I did there?)

Building our tribe

My Friend Jenny and I ran into St. Nick one time.

In the same vein, women need women, girls supporting girls. We have done a huge disservice to our daughters if they grow up watching us cut ourselves and each other down, even just a tiny bit. We all have friends like the bras listed above: the fun, yet undependable ones; the hot mess ones; and the ones that we hope hold out even when we have worn them thin.

Let’s be introspective for a moment: what kind of friend are you? I know that as for me, it depends on the friend you ask. I am committed to continuing to make personal changes so that I can become the old faithful for all my friends whom depend on me. We all have our moments, weeks, and sometimes even years when every time we turn around, something else is crashing down. What can we do today that will change our outlook so we can become who we want to be? I know that I have several friends whom I always feel have it all together in some way better than me. But rather than bemoan the fact that I have found another short coming in myself, I am choosing instead to challenge myself to step up and make a change.

My daughter, Naomi and her friend Brianna after they got their nails done.

Building our support network

Let’s commit together to build our tribe and grow our circle of influence by being the best version of ourselves we can imagine. Can we change overnight? No. But each day, you can do something you didn’t use to do, start as small as you need to, even if that is as simple as making your bed every day this week. Be willing to acknowledge when there are friends and influences in our lives that are bringing us down, and be willing to step away. For some of us, that could be the shows we watch, or how we talk to or about other people. Seek to understand where the other people in our lives are and act out the golden rule to its fullest. Treat others how you would want to be treated. Now, I agree with Stephen Covey that this doesn’t mean apply how you personally would want to be treated, but rather flip it: understand the women in your life, and treat them how they NEED to be treated.

My friend Kelly Brown and I during our diaper drive for Houston

Don’t over work them

Respect the appropriate boundaries. I am guilty of breaking this one, and for that I am sorry. Evaluate your friendships, and make sure to not take more than you are giving. There are seasons where you need more support, but be willing to admit to yourself when that season is over for you and just beginning for someone else. Now it could be your turn to be the support someone else needs.

Let go of the hot-mess

We all have that friend, or we may be that friend. If you are, let’s do a deep dive and figure out what to change to get out of that. If you are not that friend, it is ok to have boundaries in place and stick to them. Hot-mess creates hot-mess. Set yourself apart from the cause so that you can make improvements. It’s ok to ‘Elsa’ that and let it go.

Remember, we are all created for greatness

What are your strengths or gifts? Take a minute to think about that. What can you do to plug into that more? The more we can plug into our gifts, the more successful we can be in reaching our created purpose.

All the ladies from Homegrown Babies at our Christmas Party.

Give everyone a break

Anyone can point out that a queen’s crown is crooked, but it takes a woman of grace that will help fix it without pointing it out. Lift each other up to be the best that we can be. In our moments of weakness, have grace for ourselves as well. After all, tomorrow is another day.

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