Finding The Balance
Trying to find the balance in all you do can be challenging to say the least. In the life of a mom, it doesn’t matter if you work out of the home, from the home or the laughable description of ‘not at all.’ Finding your balance is the key. Before we can find our balance, we have to find the things that we are holding. Identify them, and prioritize each of them.
Identify your priorities
To really do this I want you to consider who you are, and how you plan and or visualize things. If you need to write it out in a big bubble plan, or a priority list, pictures or in a team with someone else helping you make this list. Take a moment, gather what you need and do it.
Here is a quick list of normal compartments
Got your list?
Now you need to prioritize, any successful plan requires there to be a prioritized list. Not everything can be Number 1. So sit down with your list and figure out how you can get everything done without stretching yourself to the breaking point. I know that as mom’s we often place our needs at the bottom of the list, (I am very guilty of this also). It is important to remember that without you, your list cannot get done. It becomes someone else’s list. What are your priorities going to be? Will it be trying to make sure you meet everyone’s needs and expectations. Will it be getting the work done and pray that your family understands?
What are you going to do about it?
Let’s talk for a moment, there are some things that should take priority at a given time. I cannot be worried about checking my daughter’s homework while I am working with a client in labor. From that perspective, let’s frame the priorities into categories. The categories must have firm boundaries, and cannot bleed into the time for the other. (This is what is causing us to be stretched so thin.)
Five Categories To Consider
- House Hold
These are not in order of importance, simply how they came to mind. Now, go back to the list you made and place each thing in the proper compartment. Please notice, I do place your relationship with your spouse apart from ‘family.’ The relationship that you have with your spouse is foundational to the investment into your family time. Family time is anything to do with caring for your children, homework, play, vacation. I do want you to remember that there is a place on the list for you. MAKE IT HAPPEN.
Take A Breath
When we can compartmentalize everything happening in our lives it breaks everything into manageable chunks (read more about how I manage my to-do list). As mom’s, can we commit to lift each other up and help each other get a handle on our lives? Instead of knocking each other down behind each other’s backs for our hot mess moments; offer a hand up.
“No” Is An Acceptable Answer
I know that I am a people pleaser and a peace maker. It is very hard for me to tell anyone ‘no.’ Even when it is super inconvenient for me. But the answer ‘NO’ is something that we need to get bolder about saying. If our compartments are overflowing, then something HAS to give. One way or the other something will come loose and spill over. Learn to say no, practice until you are confident. If your compartments aren’t working, and are broken, the flow is broken and causing damage to the next, and the next. Etcetera, etcetera.
Care To Share
I would love to hear from some of you how you have found balance in life, or if any of this gave you fresh ideas.