But this can sometimes lead to the dreaded comparison trap. This is where we find ourselves stacking up against other expectant moms. We start to question if we're "doing pregnancy right.”
But trust us, here at Kooshlie Care, we understand that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to pregnancy. Your experience is yours alone. As your doulas, we want to help you embrace this incredible journey. You can do this with confidence, self-love, and joy without the unnecessary pressure of comparison.
Stop Comparing Yourself In Pregnancy: Doula Advice
To stop comparing yourself to others during pregnancy, it’s important to understand why it’s so easy to fall into the Comparison Trap.
Understanding The Comparison Trap (And Why It’s So Easy To Get Caught In It)
Think about how amazing our brains are. They're always scanning the environment, processing information, and seeking patterns. All of this helps us understand the world around us. This served us back in the day, allowing humans to adapt to new surroundings.
It also allowed us to stay safe in a world full of potential dangers. It’s in our nature. This “survival mechanism” affects us to this day through social media. In today’s age, our brains are bombarded with carefully curated highlight reels of everyone else's seemingly "perfect" pregnancies.
It’s easy to forget that what we see on social media is often just a tiny snapshot of someone's reality. Pregnancy is a journey, one filled with its ups and downs, joys and challenges. But you rarely see those vulnerable moments in a perfectly posed picture.
That’s okay; we’re human, after all. Instead of looking to these outward appearances for validation, it is important to turn inward. Focusing on ourselves during pregnancy can help us stop comparing ourselves to others. Now that we understand the comparison trap, we need to talk about how to stop comparing yourself to others during pregnancy and why it's so necessary.
How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others During Pregnancy
1. Challenge Those Thoughts
Remember that inner voice that likes to pop up and compare your journey to others? Try these techniques to challenge your thinking and quiet your inner critic:
- Acknowledge: Pay attention to the comparison thoughts without judgment. Treat yourself like you would a friend, offering yourself that same kindness and understanding.
- Challenge: Gently question those thoughts. Ask yourself, “Is this comparison helpful? Am I focusing on what truly matters to me and my pregnancy?” Chances are, the answer will be no. Instead of focusing on things outside of your control (like someone else’s pregnancy journey), focus on aspects that are within your control.
- Reframe: This is all about finding the silver linings and focusing on the positives. For instance, if you’re feeling envious about a friend’s ability to exercise vigorously, celebrate their strength. And gently remind yourself of all the ways you are caring for your body and baby. Celebrate those small victories.
2. Focus On Your Why
You’re growing a human, isn’t that incredible? It's a transformative experience like no other. Take the time to appreciate what your body is doing and to connect with your baby.
Engaging in self-reflection can provide some much-needed peace. Try starting a gratitude journal, practicing mindfulness, or taking walks in nature.
3. Remember What Advocacy Truly Means
Labor support is defined as the therapeutic presence of another person with you during labor. It involves human-to-human interaction with caring behaviors. Many things go into labor support, such as education on your options for birth and during your pregnancy.
Here at Kooshlie Care, we help you advocate for yourself. Every birth is different, so why do we prepare as if every birth is the same? There’s not a lot of variation in what is taught and shared by providers.
That’s why, at Kooshlie Care, it’s important that our clients and families feel seen, heard, and understood. Part of your care with us involves discovering what is important to you. You’ll also learn to communicate effectively. Our goal is to prepare you and give you tools so you feel comfortable and empowered.
What is the point of birth classes? It’s more than just showing you how to change a diaper. One goal of birth classes is to build a toolkit of information. The other is to advocate for yourself in situations. Birth classes can also help with pregnancy anxiety and allow you to find support from other expectant mothers.
4. Surround Yourself With Your Tribe
Did you know there’s more than one type of doula? Many assume the labor support person that comes to your birth is the only kind. Postpartum doulas are also out there to help.
They can make those first few weeks at home a little less crazy. Let’s be real, those newborn snuggles are everything, but lack of sleep is HARD. It takes a village. Cultivate a supportive network of individuals who celebrate your journey for what it is: yours.
5. Reframe Your Social Media
Did you know that social media plays a large role in how you see and interact with pregnancy in general? Curate your feed to follow accounts that make you feel empowered.
Celebrate The Journey And Give Yourself Grace
Pregnancy is beautiful, and every body is unique. Embrace your individuality because comparison truly is the thief of joy. People are often caught up in outward appearances.
Really, this time should be cherished because time truly flies. Instead, tune in to yourself and connect with your needs, intuition, and strength.
Part of how (and why) to stop comparing yourself to others during pregnancy, is to listen to advice from doulas. Doulas are qualified individuals that can give you support. They allow you to embrace your own experience and journey as it unfolds.
FAQs About How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others During Pregnancy
1. How Do We Stop Comparing Ourselves To Others?
Pregnancy is a journey, but this is easier said than done. That's where having a doula who is trained and educated comes into play. The birth world can be challenging and isolating.
This is especially true because social media often depicts a biased reality of everyone’s "perfect" pregnancy and birth. What we see on the screen doesn't show what goes on behind the scenes.
2. What Are The Dangers Of Comparing Yourself To Others?
Comparison can lead to anxiety and insecurity. Many expectant mothers find they are not enjoying their pregnancies. They might be constantly overthinking every twinge, comparing bump sizes, and even worrying if the baby will be here “on time.”
Booking your doula allows ample time to find someone you feel good with. It also allows for adequate time to debrief fears and doubts during your prenatal appointments with your doula.
3. How To Deal With Loneliness During Pregnancy?
That is why it’s so important for pregnant women to embrace this exciting and unpredictable journey. You can do so by nurturing themselves physically, mentally, and emotionally. Your needs matter.
If you are someone who is already prone to experiencing depression or anxiety, seek help. Your medical providers can provide you with resources. You can even consider researching the different kinds of support available.
4. How To Motivate Yourself During Pregnancy?
Sometimes, just acknowledging those hard feelings is all it takes to feel seen. These feelings can be loneliness, fear, excitement, and trepidation. Some people don’t even realize they are isolating themselves. Doulas help provide support. They can also provide informational support, emotional support, and physical support during labor.
Kooshlie Care Doula Services In Asheville, NC
It's time to mute those negative voices. It's time to remember every bump, every craving; every emotion is uniquely yours.
You are strong. Celebrate your individuality. You've got this. And remember, we’re here to walk alongside you every step of the way.
Kooshlie Care Doula Services is offering premier doula support and education in Asheville NC. Our reputation in the community is growing every day, and we love working with the area care providers as well as keeping a finger on all of the opportunities for learning and support that Western North Carolina has to offer.
Are you ready to embrace your pregnancy journey with confidence and support? Contact Kooshlie Care Services today to learn more about how our doula services can help you navigate pregnancy, birth, and beyond.
